Advice From a Former F**k Up

Recently, I've been doing some introspection into my past, my present, and where I'd like to be in the future. This caused me to look closely at why I've done the things I've done. Mainly, what was the reasoning behind some of the more pivotal decisions in my life. Something that kept recurring is the fact that I'm very self-reliant. And it's this trait, I think, that has gotten me where I am today. And what a long, interesting road it's been (so far).

When I was in high school, I was a fuck up. Like most teenagers, I didn't realize this at the time. I thought I had the world figured out (again, like most teenagers do). However, in my senior year, I didn't have enough credits to graduate with my class. I had to attend school for another semester to make up the credits I was missing. Faced with "life after high school" or "Adult Life", I realized I had no clue what I was going to do after high school. With a 2.0 GPA, college was out of the question. I imagined working in a factory or some other grueling job and felt desperate about my situation. Then a military recruiter called and dispelled my confusion and regret. I knew what I had to do, so I joined the Army.

I served for three years, working on helicopter engines and was honorably discharged. I went back home to my parents for a year in order to find where the road of life would take me next. During this time, I decided I wanted to be a firefighter, a childhood dream of mine. I quickly learned that there were a lot of better qualified people vying for the few open positions, so competition was abundant. I needed something that would make me a more appealing candidate than the others. So, I decided to enroll in an EMT course at the local community college.

This was fierce, too. My class consisted of about 32 students (all of whom took advantage of financial aid, except me. I paid $750 out of pocket to save my GI Bill for something better later). Since I paid the expenses out of my own pocket, I was highly motivated to pass the course and go on to become state certified. The wash out rate was high. The course was 9 months long. At the end, I think there were twelve of us who graduated. Out of those 12, only 7 became state certified. I was one.

With my new certification, I got a job with an ambulance service in the metropolitan area. Shortly after, my wife and I moved to a district that had a volunteer fire service. They also had 4 paid firefighters on duty and, after becoming a volunteer, I found out that one of those paid men were leaving. A slot was opening up. I applied for it and competed against a few other volunteers for the position. I managed to land the job and worked as a paid firefighter for quite some time. Then, I reached a pivotal moment: I realized my salary of $18,600 a year wasn't sustainable for me and my family (In addition to a wife and a son, we had another baby on the way).

During a Sunday shift, which was typically one of the slower shifts, I sat down in the station's kitchen and wrote down everything I wanted in a career. I opened the newspaper to the classified section and went through the various jobs, A-Z, comparing what I knew about each to my list, trying to find the most compatible. This was the mid-90s. I was 23. The job that struck me was computer programming. The salaries listed were unbelievable compared to my paltry salary! Unfortunately, I didn't know the first thing about computers. We had a bulky, antiquated desktop PC in the fire station, but all I ever did with it was play a silly DOS game from time to time with some of the other firemen.

I didn't let that stop me, though. I'd made my decision. I bought books to teach myself programming. My brother gave me a copy of Borland's C++ compiler for Christmas and my father-in-law gave me an old i286. I spent countless hours reading and typing in the example programs from the book, slowly learning the basics. I ended up leaving the fire department because the stress of that job was getting to me. I floated around from menial job to menial job for a year, still reading my books and devising little programs. I'd finally landed a temp job at an office and met a guy who was also interested in learning programming. He bought some books after we talked and two weeks later, said he was circulating his resume and had received some interest. I thought, Two weeks! I've been doing this for a year! What the hell am I waiting for?! So, that weekend, I sent out about 50 copies of my resume to various companies.

My resume received interest, too. I got a job offer from one company for $24k. I accepted it, knowing I had another interview in less than a week with a better company. This other company also extended an offer for $27k. I jumped on it and regretfully declined the first offer. That was 20 years ago. I've moved from company to company during that time and now work for a corporation making almost six-figures. One of the things I've learned is that it's not always good to make a hobby your bread and butter because I've come to hate programming. It's lost the fun it once held because now I have to program what I'm told, not the things I want to program. It's lost its fun.

Also, I've learned to embrace my self-reliance. It was self-reliance that allowed me to switch careers when I was in my early 20s, from two very different fields despite the odds I faced. I've learned that I have the capacity to teach myself and that I can overcome most obstacles as long as I have the will and determination.

About a year ago, when I was 43, I stumbled across the financial independence and early retirement community. Until then, I hadn't saved anything for retirement. I was one of the poor guys who'd resigned himself to working until he dropped dead in his cubicle. Despite my dad's wise advice to save, save, save, I'd done the opposite and spent, spent, spent. (Sorry, dad!) According to all the retirement advice to save while you're young, I'd turned a deaf ear. I thought I was in an insurmountable hole. However, I learned that wasn't the case, but it would take some discipline.

I'm turning once again to that self-reliance that helped me out in the past. I've created a budget, reduced my expenses, and started saving and investing to get my financial house in order. For the first time in my life, I'm completely in charge of my finances. I'm debt free. I'm restoring my dismal credit score (devastated during my previous marriage and utterly flushed down the toilet during my divorce). Currently, I've saved $69,000, which will continue to grow so I can later buy my freedom. I'm hoping to hop off of the treadmill of full-time work in nine years.

Reaching financial independence has become my main focus. I have several hobbies, too, which help pass the time and keep me occupied through continuous learning and entertainment. I make silicone Halloween masks as well as write short stories and novels that I self-publish. Spending time with my wife while traveling and watching movies is priceless. I can't think of a better way I would want to spend the rest of my life except to remove full-time work from the equation.

So, with all that said, the advice from this former fuck up is: If you want something done right, do it yourself! Meaning, if you want to accomplish something, you should count on yourself instead of others to make sure you succeed. It's worked wonders for me and I think it can for you, too.

Editorial Note:
I'm thinking about writing more posts as follow-ups to this one where I can elaborate more on some of the experiences I've had where I relied on myself to accomplish some big goals. Originally, I wanted to write a post that attempted to identify the psychology/drive behind people who strive for and succeed in reaching large goals. An attempt to try to distill what it is that makes us tick. I strongly believe there's some innate trait or ability some people have that helps them achieve goals where many others have failed. I'm not a psychologist or neuroscientist, so I doubt I could even come close to doing that idea justice, but I think it would be cool to try to pin down what that motivating factor is.