You Do You

One thing many people experience when they undertake a new hobby is comparing themselves to others as a way to gauge their progress. This is completely normal and understandable as we want to do our best at something we perceive as a worthwhile endeavor. However, this can also be a crippling deterrent for some people with weaker constitutions. After all, we're human and prone to psychological disappointments. So, I'd like to discuss concentrating on yourself and taking with a grain of salt how others might be doing along the same journey and I'd like to stick to the path of pursuing FI.

One thing I'd like to point out right from the beginning is that if you're on the path to FI, go ahead and pat yourself on the back. You're doing something a lot of people aren't and even if you don't succeed in reaching the ultimate goal of being financially independent (where you no longer have to work for income), you'll still come out ahead.

Just by building an emergency, if this is all you're able to achieve, puts you ahead when you encounter an emergency that you will be financially prepared to handle. Without taking action now, you'll be in much worse shape encountering a financial emergency without a stash of money to combat it.

The path to financial independence isn't a race, it's a journey. Your own personal journey. And during this time you will often find it boring because when you have a handle on the basics, it's simply repeating the process of putting money into investments and savings until you eventually reach whatever number is your goal. This takes years and, in many cases, decades.

You'll look for ways to cut expenses to maximize savings and/or how to increase your income in an effort to cut down the time it takes to reach your goal. These are all fine endeavors and they're expected. However, you may also read about someone else who is on this path who is either making a hell of a lot more than you or they're much closer to their goal than you, or all of the above. Hopefully, you read about this person's place and think, I'll be there one day, without jealousy or bitterness. Chances are, though, you'll experience that pang of envy and turn an eye to your own sum and think it paltry. This plants the seed of doubt about what you're doing, which can eventually grow and blossom into depressive thoughts causing you to rethink why you're wasting your time when your friends are spending their money and enjoying themselves.

This is what I want to caution you against!

Are your friends really happy or just putting on a charade?

Like I mentioned earlier, just by being on this path and putting money aside puts you ahead of the game. So, instead of feeling discouraged by someone else who might make more than you or have a bigger nest egg than you, just think about society as a whole; all those people acting irresponsibly with their money, running up debt trying to find happiness in clubs or buying new cars they can't afford, and know that you're doing something to separate yourself from those same problems.

Although, in a way, you're still comparing yourself to others, but in the latter case, it's not one individual, but a larger abstract. After all, we're human and we have these needs to conform and feel part of a group. Blame our early ancestors. Because of them, it's in our DNA. The need to belong grew out of the tribal instincts of ancient man.

Every week in Reddit's FinancialIndependence subreddit you can find posts where someone has fallen into the trap of comparing themselves to others they perceive to be doing better and ask how they too can achieve the same results. And, as always, you'll find someone responding with a quote: Comparison is the thief of joy. I like this quote because it's true. While you may be robbing yourself of the joy you'd have in what you've accomplished by looking up the ladder at those ahead of you, someone below you is also robbing themselves of their own joy by looking up the ladder at where you are and what you have.

My recommendation is to use yourself as your own yardstick. For instance, I read all the time about people much younger than me who've got much larger nest eggs than I have and I feel that twinge of jealousy. But just yesterday I looked at where my net worth was on January 1st and compared it with what I have today. I was completely blown away to learn my net worth had grown by just over $54k!

This is the best year I've had, by far, since I started down this path three years ago. It's spurred me to keep doing what I'm doing because it's obviously working. The increase in my net worth is more than a lot of people make in a year, so I have to be proud of my accomplishment. I realize I'm a lot more fortunate than many others, so to look at my accomplishment as something paltry does a great disservice not only to my efforts but to others below me.

Sure, I haven't reached $200k net worth yet and I still haven't broken the 6-figure salary barrier yet, even after 20+ years in my field, but you know what? I'm still doing pretty damned good!

So, if you've just started out and you've managed to get your net worth positive for the first time in years, or you're very close to paying off your student loans, or you've just now managed to save a thousand dollars or five thousand dollars in an emergency fund, don't feel down about what you've accomplished. Feel damned proud at what you've done. Let it be the fuel to propel you along to grow that accomplishment into a larger bushier accomplishment in six months, a year, or five years. Before you know it, you'll look back at past-you with a great deal of thanks.

Best of luck on your journey.